Sometimes, being a better leader can be as easy as E.T.C.
2020 may be the most disruptive year many of us have lived through. In the long run, a crisis can rejuvenate the way organizations operate and help us to rethink and revolutionize our practices.
But when we are in the moment, gripped by a crisis, it can feel overwhelming; especially for leaders who are putting out fires and attempting to solve seemingly impossible challenges on a daily basis. Put simply, disruption can result in leaders not being at their best.
Some leaders, however, are thriving during this crisis and are doing even better than they were before the pandemic. And they are not doing this by chance. So what are they doing differently? The answer lies in their mindset.
Mastering your mindset
It’s very easy to believe it’s our external environment that is determining whether we are at our best on any particular day. However, it’s what’s happening inside us – our mindset and our attitude – that determines whether or not we are thriving.
What happens in our external environment is often beyond our control; for example, how our government manages COVID-19, or the peaks and troughs of the economy, or sudden fluctuations in consumer behavior.
But what is entirely under our influence is how we respond to our environment. When we’re able to master our mindset, we’re far better equipped to lead effectively and courageously.
Trying to know all the answers isn’t actually the answer
A common approach to tackling disruption has been to throw more knowledge and skills at a leader. But leadership is not about having all the answers. In any case, equipping leaders with more knowledge isn’t sustainable because the challenges they face are constantly evolving and additional knowledge quickly becomes redundant.
The leaders who are thriving are not the ones with all the answers. Rather, they are the ones who notice when they are not at their best, manage their triggers and their ‘ self-talk’, and then practice techniques to rebalance and resource themselves. They bring themselves back to a place of reality, see more clearly, and as a result make better decisions.
“When we’re able to master our mindset, we’re far better equipped to lead effectively and courageously”
It’s very tempting for leaders to jump straight into finding a solution. This can be an almost knee-jerk reaction to a crisis. But without the right mindset, it can be very hard to see the paths available and be open to possibilities. This is why it’s so essential to first focus on your mindset to ensure you are resourced and fully present.
Going ‘in the box’ to get out again
Here is a pattern that may sound familiar. Think back over the past few days. Perhaps you received an email that frustrated you, or maybe something someone said to you made you feel anxious. Whatever it was, as a result of these triggers, you may have remarked to yourself, ‘I can’t do this, it’ll never work’ or ‘why does this always happen to me?’ or something else that was pessimistic or judgemental. These dramatic thoughts and statements we tell ourselves we can call our ‘self-talk’.
Self-talk is that voice in your head that runs a commentary on your life. Sometimes it can be helpful, such as reminding us to put the bins out on a certain day. Other times, it can be much less helpful and overly critical. It is these dramatic, negative, and unhelpful thoughts that result in us not being at our best.
When we are not at our best, we go ‘in the box’. We use the metaphor of going in a box because it’s similar to how we feel when we’re not at our best. Our ability to see the truth and what’s in front of us is diminished and we struggle to grasp the choices and options available to us. We may feel lost and we may disconnect from others and become very internally focused.
It’s not that leaders who are thriving don’t go in the box sometimes – this is only natural. But they are able to recognize when this happens, and then do something about it – they know how to get themselves out of the box.
Knowing how to rebalance yourself and regain clarity does take time to master. But, as with most things, it becomes easier with practice.
The E.T.C. technique
E.T.C (Emotion, Truth, Choice) is a technique that leaders can use to get themselves out of the box. This technique enables us to bring ourselves back to reality, examine our self-talk, and tell ourselves the truth.
E is for emotion. The first step to getting out of the box is to know you’re in it. Slow yourself down and tune in to what you are feeling and what you are thinking. What is your mind saying about you or the situation? Make a mental note of these self-talk statements. Becoming more aware of your thoughts and feelings is a critical step to rebalancing and building resilience.
Now breathe. We often speed up and forget to take slow, deep breaths when we are in the box. The full stops in E.T.C are particularly important – they remind us to focus on our breathing.
T is for truth. Tell yourself the truth about the situation. It’s time to counter this self-talk. By establishing what is really true, we can rebalance ourselves. We can reframe the situation in reality, no matter how dramatic the stories we tell ourselves are.
Go through each self-talk statement that you’ve made a mental note of. Ask yourself ‘can I guarantee that each statement is 100 per cent true?’ Chances are, you can’t. For example, we don’t know what other people are thinking about us, unless we ask them. Have a look at a few examples below:
“Everyone thinks I’m stupid”. This is not true. I’m just assuming I know what other people are thinking but I haven’t asked, and no one has said I am being stupid.
“There is nothing I can do about this situation.” This is not true. There are always options and possibilities.
“I really should have done this earlier.” Maybe, but I need to remember that I’m only human. And also ‘could haves’ or ‘should haves’ are not useful to me right now.
C is for choice. Bringing yourself to a place of truth-based reality allows you to make mindful and pragmatic choices about the situation. Now it’s time to explore your options. Do you see any options that you didn’t see before? Is there something you can resolve now, like a conversation you could have or an email you could send? Think of as many choices as you like. It’s helpful to have around three.
The more you practice E.T.C., the more you’ll be able to break the negative self-talk cycle and operate at your very best. As Charles R. Swindoll said, life is 10 per cent what happens to you, and 90 per cent how you react to it.
THE AUTHOR
Sophie Ireland is the managing director, EMEA, for BRIDGE Partnership. Prior to joining BRIDGE, she spent 15 years in corporate HR with General Electric and PepsiCo.
